I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
