Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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