the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
