i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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