I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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