Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's just like the Real World with babies
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
