our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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