in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
