Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
