sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
