NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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