idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
