just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
