Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
