Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
