Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
