Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
