I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
