Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you would pick up someone in the library
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
