she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
