Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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