I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
