woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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