The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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