Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
