i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
