what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
