This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
