every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
