Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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