i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
