Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
