you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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