I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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