oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
