Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
