Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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