Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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