Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's Friday. Sex?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
