omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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