Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
