I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
