I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
