Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
