I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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