What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
