Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
