what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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