I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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