it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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