U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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